and so it is......
sooooo... this is it. end of the road for me now. or this road anyway. i thought about writing about all that i learned, about all that changed. writing about everything that changed for me, and about everything that didn't. but then i thought.... i don't really wanna share that. no offense, nothing exactly personal here, but u know me, and u know i just don't shed my heart like that (and yes, i was also reminded why i don't do that, for example). and so, no "wear sunscreen"- styled text here. No moral lessons, no "personal growth" (even because... i am not really a plant to grow, and i am not sure i changed into something better, so let's just not use that methaphor at all. never is better, in fact). No dear-diary-today-I-learned wide open on the web. i'm just going to write this: it changed everything, in one way or the other. and that is all.
no ode to the people i met either (although i did meet some great people, but i am sure they know how great they are and how much i adore them), no telling how great or how bad it was, or is at home. no complaining or prasing about anything this time. Enjoy the silence while it lasts, I guess.
to some of u, see u very soon! aaah!!! so soon!!! I can't even think about it!!! and i hope u can still stand me the way i am now (!!). to those who stay here... well... see u sometime in life, i guess!
beeeeeeeeeijos
maybe tomorrow
ok... i'm going home in a few hours, and this is almost the last post written from Helsinki. Thinking about it, I won't be home for another 24 hours, but anyway, from 3 in the afternoon of today to 6 in the morning tomorrow i am not in any home, just on a sucky plane (which reminds me, I have to write a post about planes). Right now, I am on a break from cleaning the apartment - and let me just say, Jesus Christ. if somebody had taol me how hard it would be to clean the oven, I swear I wouldn't have used it. I could have gone 9 months without an oven, no? It would save an hour of my day.... but well, it's clean now. Actually, the apartment smells so clean, and so much like Cif that I cannot stop sneezing. But it's clean anyway.
And it is around... I think it's 3 in the morning, and it's light again. Actually, it doesn't really get dark anymore, doesn't matter what time it is. Now it's 3 something and it's really light. But at 1 in the morning it wasn't dark either, it was something you would expect at 7 or 8 something at night. But the blue in the sky of Helsinki is just amazing... it is just so... blue? I don't know how to explain, but the color is really beautiful....
Ok, I'm off my break now, I think. Still have a bit of stuff to clean, and the baaaathroom.... I don't even wanna think about that. But thats for tomorrow. For today, I worried enough about the lugagge and the ridiculous amount of extra money I'll have to pay simply because I cannot fit my stuff into the bags. I tried, and I tried, and I tried. But it is phisically impossible. So, I gave up and accepted that there are things you just can't change, and my extra lugagge is one of those things in life....
see you sooooo soon!!!
beijos
Part 2
Hello people! And let's get right to it: Hamburg, part 2.
Honestly, I didn't see that much of the city, because I really did go there to see tennis matches, as pathetic as that sounds. But, thankfully, Ollie and Max were soooo kind to show me around!!! We saw a bit of the center, and went on a ferry that goes absolutely nowhere. But we had a wonderful afternoon, and I can say that I saw something of Hamburg at least.... The day wasn't such a nice out, but seeing the guys again was definetly worth it!
And of course... the tennis. I can't and won't describe it all here, since it seems quite useless if you didn't see 
it, or if you don't care about tennis, which is probably the case. I didn't see any incredible matches, but it was still so good to go and see... I hadn't seen a live tennis match in 3 or 4 years, and it was great seeing it again. You forget how exciting it is. Of course, the tension costs you 2 years of living, but then again, who cares about that? I loved it, it's just too bad Federer and Nadal didn't play. Although Federer did show up - he was introduced in german, and he spoke in german, so I have absolutely noooo idea why he was there, but well, he was there anyway. it would have been nice to see him play as well... but I guess I'll just have to go somewhere again in 3 years or so. And of course, I managed to get sunburnt AGAIN, God knows how, since there was almost no sun, and it wasn't exactly warm. At least in Australia it was sunny, to that was jus
tified. But well, maybe that's just something I'll always do. People go to the beach and get allergies, people go to a specific bar and always get drunk, and I go to watch tennis and get sunburnt. At least it's something constant in life... So, to sum up: Hamburg is a nice city by the water, looks kind of like a cute pre made game, with all the houses looking similar, and veeery organized. And 3 days of pure tennis: thats the life I wanna ask for.
beijos
(pictures all of the tennis, because the ones from the city don't really look that nice... weather didn't cooperate, I'm afraid. but anyway, the center court, Nicolas Kiefer losing horribly and Andy Murray kicking the clay off his shoes)
2 words:
Oh my God. Oh my God. And by this I just mean: Oh my God!!!!
Ok, explaining now, in two words: Marat Safin. I will not write any more "oh my god"s here, but let's say that I could write that for 5 more lines. So, Marat Safin.
I have to say that he is even better than I had imagined. I never actually think he is a real life human being, and seeing him standing right in front of you kind of shows you that indeed he is, and that yes, he does look that good. But anyway, about the game: it was.... well, it was not his best. I have no idea why, maybe it's because he is not fully back from his last injury. I don't care. (I didn't really pay thaaaaat much attention to the game in the beginning, to be completely honest here). The fact is: you can see that he has the game, the talent to do it. You see it in a couple of shots, some aces, the way he moves about. It's all there: the speed, the strenght, the talent. And also, the lack of patience, the frustration and the bad luck, and the balls that stay in the net. And this time, the bad parts of his game overcame the good parts, unfortunately.
Was it worth it? Completely. I mean, the game was too short, and well, he did lose, I know, I know, but really.... I don't know. It was still worth it. It's different seeing a guy that is that good playing. Fine, not his best day, but he is still good. And he did everything he always does, and it was nice seeing it live: hitting the clay off his shoes, being angry at the ballgirl (oh, and the funniest thing: the ballgirl - other ballgirl, actually, but anyway- giggling when he walked away from her. And then she looks at you, and knows that you saw it and are probably thinking the same thing she is - any variation of oh-god-he-is-gorgeous - and you both just laugh at it, in the middle of the game); doing the little jumping thing he does on his left (sorry, only way to describe it. Giulia will know), yelling, cursing in Russian, staring at the racket almost saying to it "what the hell do you think you are doing???", and, of course, smashing the poor racket on the ground. Obviously. And besides, come on, just look at him. He could stand still in the court for 2 more hours and I still would not mind just staring at him being there (yes, I know, kind of obssessive talk here, but really, you have to see the guy... and I am not stalking, following him around or sending him letters or hanging posters on the wall here people, so be calm. Just commenting).
So, that was it. Marat Safin, live. 4 years after my first attempt, but still, Marat Safin(!!!!!!) Not the game of a decade, I admit it. But still, Marat Safin. And it is at times like these you realize how easy it actually is to make me happy.
(ps: picture later. I don't wanna upload now. But don't worry, since I took something around 40 pictures. In a 2 hour game. I have no idea how, but they are here. So, soon, as soon as I actually tell you something about Hamburg and the 3 days I spent there).
beijos
Family. Redefined.
I have to write this before I go home and forget. And since I have almost no time left here, I will just have to write it now. And it is soooo unimportant, so don't even get your expectations up. I watched a lot of "The Sopranos" this semester. I decided that since it was one of the "best" series out now, I should just watch it all (I don't get it on cable, so I had never really seen it before). And let me just say: "wow".
The series is fantastic because of everything in it. The music is great (and I've been obssesivly trying to find the cd and can't I find it, obviously. Listen to at least the theme song, and then come and tell me you think I am wrong. I am not.), the writing is really something to pay attention to. The way it is written... it's just beautiful. A mob boss having panick attacks? FBI trying to turn people from the mob into allies? A wife bored, scared and alone?I can't explain it, but you just have to see it. It is so fluent, so involving, so... deep? I don't know. It's just amazing. The central characters, the not so central... everybody has something about them you will either love or hate. But you will feel something for them. Adriana, Chris, Rosalie, Richie, Janice, the mother: you can't help but feeling connected. Or maybe that's just me and series, but the actors really play a huge role in The Sopranos. They are the characters, and that means everything. And this brings me to the acting. Oh dear God. I never understood how they could get all the awards they got, but now I do. All of them. James Gandolfini is scary with a soft side, and you'll be terrified when he is acting as the mob boss, but touched when he is sitting there in the therapist's (who is also fantastic, by the way) office, crying about his mother or the ducks that flew away and left him depressed. And Carmela. Carmela just.. exists. Edie Falco is absolutely brilliant in making her come to life: the hair, the voice, the looks, the raised eyebrows, the cross on her chest. Everything makes her so believable, so alive... i have seen Edie Falco give most of the credits to the writing, but you have to hand it to her as well, since s
he was just as good in Freedomland - with a complete different character, by the way, and that movie isn't exactly the best writing material ever. And she still makes you see her life, her pain, and just makes you see who that person is. So, basically, what I am telling you here is that I added another series to the already huge pile that I watch. But this one.... is just different. the acting, the script, the lines. Everything. It shows a world i have never seen before, and it drags me into it, no warning signs. It's great.
beijos
Alias meets Tom Cruise
I still have about 3 papers to write, something around 30 pages maybe. And what do I do? I go to the movies, of course! But let's get right to it.
Mission Impossible. I usually avoid spy movies, since I have noooo patience whatsoever for poisoning pens, expensive remote control jaguars and I have even less patience when it is Tom Cruise jumping off a building that is 160 meters high, and I have to pretend that that could actually happen, and that Tom Cruise would be able to do that anyway. And somehow, even though it is Tom Cruise, I liked it. Why? J. J. Abrams. And Philip Seymour Hoffman.
J. J. Abrams makes you forget the couch jumping Tom Cruise in the first scene. It is so shocking, and Cruise is acting so incredibly well that his stupidities over the last year just go away. Eventually they come back to you, but that first scene was essential. Besides that, he just keeps you focused on the film: the twists, the explosions, it is almost a longer and more masculine version of Alias. He even gets the nerdy but essential computer geek in the mix, just like Marshall is always there to back Sidney up (Alias reference here). And of course, he tries to bring Felicity back to life, but that was just too much. Seeing that girl yelling at Tom Cruise asking for a gun just doesn't work. But he tries. And he is the best thing that happened to the film. He gives it life and creativity. He gives it dialogue, he puts weird jokes where they shouldn't be. And that breaks the tension, which makes this easier to watch than Lost. He makes the movie what it is, with a little less gadgets than normal (ok, the mask is still wrong. they did it before and it's just.. just plain weird).
Which brings me to the second best thing: Philip Seymour Hoffman. He is goooooood!!! He is so cold and so careless, you just don't know what to do with him! It is, for one of the first times, a good villain. Cold, cold, cold. After all the twiches and weird obssessive moes he did in Capote, he is this person that doesn't even move a muscle on his face, he just... stares. Kind of gets ruined when they start getting physically violent because, come on, it's still Capote trying to beat up Tom Cruise. But ok, i'll let that go and just focus on the good scenes he has. So, M:I 3, in a very unexpected way, turns out quite nice. And I hand it all to J. J. Abrams, because come on, it isn't anyone that can make you watch Tom Cruise for 2 hours and not die. Or not wish he dies in every car that explodes in the movie.
And that's it. 2 hours of film, plus 30 minutes of writing this..... and the papers are still here to be written. So, see u later
beijos
One of the best
Hello people! So, back from almost the last trip.... and working like hell now in Helsinki. But anyway let's talk about the trip, which was amazing. First of all, dutch people are very, very friendly. It's quite impressive actually, having been in Finland this long, and to go from here to somewhere where people will smile at you on the street, and talk to you, a lot. They can be a bit too friendly at times, but anyway, it was a nice change. And 25 degrees is something that is just priceless. And of course, pleasant company and a nice view never hamed 
anybody.... Amsterdam is a very, very strange city. It is great, but it's not something I can explain, really. It's different from the other cities I have seen, and you have all the nice and cute boats, and nice terraces. And then, you have the red light district and the constant smell of pot. It's very interesting, and I just loved it! And one advice: if in Amsterdam, go to a sex museum. It's absurd, and somewhat disgusting, but quite funny.
And on Saturday night, after lying in the sun for a good half an hour, Sarah, Nils and Lotte dropped us (us being Chris and me) off in Utretch - aka the city I cannot pronounce and will never be able to pronounce. And it is one of the cutest cities I've seen, with a lot of cafes, and rivers as well, and just a nice atmosphere of a student city (night-life included, with some nice bars playing straaange music. But cheap drinks, which is impossible to get in Helsinki). And sunshine... and bikes. A lot of bikes. And i was actually ON a 
bike, which is a first time for me - and I did not fall, impressively enough. Ok, fine, I wasn't exactly peddaling the bike, but anyway, it doesn't matter. I went across the city in a bike, and didn't break anything! But well, I think this is it for now. I don't really know what more to write about it, I really had a great time, it was great seeing people again! And now my dears, it's time for me to go...
ps: in the pictures you have Utretch, us "exploring" the sex museum, the damn bikes and Chris being absurdly dutch with the cheese.
beijos
Clowns and a Country
In the middle of one of the worse political crisis in Brazil, almost every politician is being attacked, let's say, and investigated by the media. And just about all of them are guilty of something, money appears in the wrong places, disappears from others, and ethics is a veeery disputable concept now in Brazil. We have a complete circus, going from a dancing congress woman (no, I am not kidding. She danced in the middle of Congress after one of her friends was declared not guilty of corruption), to Evo Morales (I won't even comment on that, let's see what Lula does after this nationalization of Bolivia's gas and oil reserves first. Stands up for the country or rolls the red carpet for him? We'll see soon enough....) and Chávez, passing by crying politicians, poor innocent people having their lives ripped apart by the politicians, who now cry on tv, trying to look as innocent as a child. "Yes, I was there, but I saw no corruption. Never. How can I spend 9 thousand a month in gas? Well, you see..... No, wait, I can explain. I really can". So, as you see, a perfect circus. Or so I thought.
Until I was once more surprised.
The ex governor (governor? I think so) of Rio de Janeiro now got involved in the corruption scandals. He has a brand new one, borrowing an airplane from a convicted criminal (who is now in jail), and inexplicably receiving a few millions from inexistent organizations. And he wants to run for president, and it is actually in the third place in the pools. Well, so now we have this new information, and he doesn't look very innocent and honest, obviously. His reaction to all this was not to try an answer, show his innocence, prove to us that yes, he is an honest man. No, none of that. To expose the unfair way he has been treated by the media, what did he do? He went on a hunger strike.
Yes, ladies and gentleman, a hunger strike. As you can see from the picture, won't do him much harm, I suppose. But that is besides the point. And my point, if it hasn't become clear enough by now, is "what the hell is going on in my country?". I always knew the politicians were a bit stupid, but this is just too much. A hunger strike? I couldn't believe it... but it is true. I'm embarassed, mad, sad, and ashamed for living somewhere where this sort of bullshit (excuse me here) is tolerated, and promoted by the media. If it was up to me, I would just make sure nobody covered his story, and he would just die of hunger. Or maybe his brain just collapses from complete lack of use. Either way, it would help to put an end to this circus we created.
Music From the Motion Picture
Hey.... here I am again, bored and with a lot of stuff to do. But I just saw a movie and I wanna comment. After months and months, I saw Elizabethtown, by Cameron Crowe. And I found out that all the critics were right, unfortunately. The acting is just... well, just bad. As much as it pains me to say, Orlando Bloom really isn't the next Robert de Niro. Sad, since he's that cute, but well.... we saw it coming. And Kirsten Dunst, although with some great lines (the ice cream cone was just perfect), she's just... too much. When it's just her voice in the car, it's ok. But onscreen she's just annoying. And being that they are the central couple, it kind of ruins the movie. The last 20 or 30 minutes, it gets better, with him in the car, alone with his father ashes, music, and history. That part is interesting, and it seems more real than the rest of the movie, maybe because he is finally seeing the truth and the world, or something like that. But let's not get into that. But still, the first hour and a half is not enough to bring you to this last half an hour. Except for one small thing.... and that small thing I can find in all his movies....And then I realized the only movie by Cameron Crowe I really adored was "Almost Famous". I didn't like Vanilla Sky (noooo, I didn't. I don't like it, I've watched it more than once, and I still don't like it. Sorry, but not for me), and not particulary fond of Jerry Maguire either. Maybe it's Tom Cruise, or him and Renee Zellweger. Meybe it is the too romantic discourse in the end, that I just didn't buy. Or maybe just her, I really don't know. The fact is, I found two common things I like. The journeys he tells us about (which is the good last half and hour of Elizabethtown, by the way, and all of Almost Famous), and the music. Always the music. And, thank God, Elizabethtown had that in it, just beautifully.
Cameron Crowe is the type of director that doesn't really use a composer, he just picks up good, gooooood music (and usually old), and puts it together, and it is such a huge part of the movie you can't really ignore it. It is there in Almost Famous even more vividly, and it is actually one of the only good things I can remember in Vanilla Sky. Soundracks are among my favourite things to buy (anyone who takes a look at my record collection can tell), because sometimes, they are not only the best thing about the movie, they make the movie as it is. And your relation to the songs can last much longer than you will remember the scenes in the movies, sometimes.
And all of this is just to say, listen to the record. Actually, the website of Elizabethtown plays the music as well. But listen to the record, in the car, at home, and just aprecciate good music. Almost Famous is just as good, just as much old music.... it's great. When you have some time, when you need to not think, listen to Elizabethtown.
beijos
